Prayer, Contemplation, Silence, and Your Heart

This is the covenant I will establish with the people of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. (Hebrews 8:10 NIV)

Your conscience. It’s a gift from God!

Like me, you may have your own questions about God and faith, things that you’ve buried or refused to acknowledge because you felt ashamed about questioning in the first place. When my faith was young, I often feared that questioning would cause it to crumble. Sometimes I still find myself slipping into old patterns.

Let me tell you — God can handle your questions!

Read the Bible, research, journal, and bring up your thoughts with fellow believers. Dig. Meditate. Learn. Allow yourself to be curious, for your faith to be like a child’s. Talk to the God your Father — truly, talk to him. Be honest. Day and night, bring Him your questions and anxieties as well as your epiphanies and joy. This is prayer.

Again, new habits take time. If you’re not used to prayer like this, it will feel strange. I encourage you to start with a scheduled time to pray — even just five minutes. Then, maybe you could set reminders throughout your day to check in. Slowly, hopefully, prayer will become natural to you, an ongoing conversation with the One who loves you most.

Strong’s Concordance

Strong’s Concordance is an index of every word in the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible. It can give us deeper insight into the meanings of the original biblical languages. This is certainly not something you have to use! The two most important tools at your disposal for biblical study are the Bible and prayer. However, Strong’s is something I’ve found that helps me dig deeper, especially in my questions like this one about biblical fear. There are many ways to access Strong’s; I usually use something called Bible Hub, which I use both as an app on my phone and simply through Googling. Bible Hub has a lot of tools in one place, not just Strong’s Concordance, so it can be confusing at first. I’ll show you it in action below.

Psalm 34:9, Fear

First, the definition of the word “fear” in Psalm 34:9 (originally yare’ in Hebrew), from Strong’s Concordance (Bible Hub):

affright, be make afraid, dreadful, put in fearful reverence, terrible act,

A primitive root; to fear; morally, to revere; caus. To frighten — affright, be (make) afraid, dread(-ful), (put in) fear(-ful, -fully, -ing), (be had in) reverence(-end), X see, terrible (act, -ness, thing).

So, two seemingly very different meanings:
(1) To be made afraid, terrible act, dreadful
(2) Morally, to revere, to be put in fearful reverence

How could one word mean both “fear” in its most evil sense and to “revere” the single perfect being, where all good things come from?

The answer, I think, comes down to worship. And to remembering who God is.

There is not a special word for how we should view God. There are descriptors: He is awesome, powerful, just, kind, love — and He is terrifying.

If you saw a volcano erupt, that sheer power — fire and boulders raining from the sky, ash clouding out the sun — it would be terrifying. And God’s power puts that to shame. He has the ability to move mountains. Literally. Picture that. Picture a mountain looming closer, the earth shaking as it thunders across the countryside. God parted the Red Sea, shot columns of fire from the sky, blocked out the sun over Egypt, sent His Spirit to snuff out the lives of all the firstborn — and that’s just some of what happened in a single story. Tell me that isn’t terrifying.

The book of Job humbled me, helped me see God in His glory, helped remind me of who God is and who I am. I still cannot truly comprehend God’s power — I don’t think any of us really can — and I often still forget how powerful God really is. I take it for granted, Him for granted.

If you, like me, need a reminder of God’s awesome power, read Job, any chapter(s) from 38-41. For reference, God is speaking to a man who forgot his place — and God reminds him. It is amazing. And terrifying. Picture God talking to you how He talked to Job. Picture the boom of His voice.

Fear. Awe. A humbling, shocking picture of God in His terribly awesome glory. That’s what I felt when I read those last chapters in Job.

When I talk with God, I often picture Him as my loving Father. — And that is true. He is. However, He is also my Lord, the Creator, the great I Am. 

It is easy to forget that the One who loves us most, our exceedingly forgiving and gentle God, is also the most terrifying, powerful being in the universe. God has the power to wipe us all out with a word, to make mountains fall from the sky like rain and the ocean swallow us whole. Story after story in the Bible showcase God’s fearsome power in action. … I just tend to focus on the loving side. Others, I know, tend to focus on the fearsome power of God. Either way, fixating on only one part of God is a mistake.

God is both. He is exceedingly loving and exceedingly powerful, far beyond our imaginations.

The “reverence” that we are called to give the Lord — no word can truly capture what that means. We describe fireworks as “awesome”… How can the same word accurately be used to describe the “awesome” power of the Lord our God?

It can’t.

Realistically speaking, fear — it’s the closest word. God’s power is terrifying. And it’s a good thing it is! Otherwise, how is He supposed to conquer the evil that rampages this world? How is He supposed to save us?

God is love (1 John 4:8). And He wields a terrifying power that we could never comprehend. That combination is what makes me stand in awe, in fear, in thankfulness. That is what makes me able to surrender my fears of this world to God — because He truly is more powerful than anything (Psalm 27:1).

In what do you put your faith? Who do you really think is the most powerful force? Whom do you fear?

Throughout the day, when someone hurts you, when you witness injustice, when you feel the effects of evil in the world — What is your response? Do you dwell for days in the negative? Do you let anger and fear (the bad kind) trap you in anxiety? Do you circle thoughts and try to trudge through on your own, try to bury your fears and pretend they don’t exist?

Or, do you bring your fears to your God? Do you believe that He is more powerful, that the God on high can, and will, crush all evil? Do you treat Him as your refuge, your shelter, your great Protector, the One who knows best?

Do you trust God enough, trust in His power and goodness, to lay your fears down at His feet? To be honest when you struggle? To humbly accept that God may not answer your prayers in the way you want or expect, but He still loves you and will work everything for your good (Romans 8:28)? Or are you trapped by your fear and anger? To what do you hold fast?

I don’t say these things to cause shame in you. I will tell you right now: Before going through this study, and indeed still now, I struggle with truly, fully putting my faith in God. But I am learning, and you can, too.

That learning starts with knowledge, with wisdom, with study. And then, learning moves to our hearts.

We have a choice. A choice to be humble, to surrender, to be honest, to ask questions…especially the hard ones.

… Or, to refuse.

To harden our hearts. To lie to ourselves, and to our God. To allow our fear and anxiety to remain in control because of their immense, terrifying power. — And, in effect, to worship our fears over our God.

No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. (Matthew 6:24 ESV)

We aren’t talking about money here, to be sure, but the question is the same. According to your thoughts — according to what you truly hold in reverence — who is your lord? What do you believe to be the most powerful: your fears, or your God?

Be honest. Pray. Ask God to search your heart. And if the answer is that you let your fears take hold of your thoughts more than you surrender them to God — pray for God’s help. Go to Him. He already knows your heart; He is just waiting for you to humbly accept His help. Jesus is the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2); He is here to help you and to teach you. But to do that, you need to be honest with Him.

Fear the Lord. Revere the Lord. And He will encamp around you. He will settle in your soul.

I’ve lived my life battling “should”s. I think this comes from my perfectionistic attitude: I hate the pressure of feeling like I should feel something, think something, believe something. Especially when that “should” is in response to a question of mine.

So, too often, when I’ve had difficult questions — questions that go against the shoulds — I’ve ignored them. The expectations I had to be a “good Christian” and believe what I thought I “should” prevented me from digging deeper. Wanting to appear faithful kept me from true faith.

Faith is built. It is a lifelong journey of learning and growing.

Finally, my relationship with the Lord my God is an open one. An honest one. — As any healthy relationship should be. He is love, and I believe that. I trust Him to be gentle with me, to teach me. And, through learning to fear God, I’m starting to trust Him to also be powerful enough to truly protect me.

Do you feel Him around you? Do you feel Him loving you, holding you, filling you with His powerful presence? Regardless of if you feel Him — He is here. Right now. He is your Encourager, and He wants to teach you to truly have faith — for He has you. You are safe with Him. But to let Him hold you, to be in that safe space, you need to choose to let go. You are invited. Will you accept God’s outstretched hand?

I got there by finally feeling safe enough, brave enough, to open up and voice my questions. It was my husband who first provided me that safe space, free of judgment, to voice my innermost thoughts.

What questions do you have about God or your faith? Do you trust God to lovingly teach you and bring you wisdom? Or has fear trapped you from digging? Be assured: God is even more powerful, and more loving, than this fear of yours. Trust in Him.

Fear God, not the things of this world. He is stronger. Surrender to Him, revere Him, have faith in Him — and He will encamp around you, fill you with His love, and deliver you from your fears.